


In the End

by Ori (magnetium)



Category: Rome
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-26
Updated: 2007-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-29 05:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1001630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnetium/pseuds/Ori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caesar's last moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the End

There is something brutal going on inside of Caesar in his last moments. More than just the release of too much blood to sustain life, more than wrenching pain of living tissue inside him dying. He feels clarity like he has not felt in days, or even weeks. While he looks into Brutus's eyes, he sees the world in a crystal-clear picture, all the people that have lived around him coming into focus.

The last minute feels like an eternity. In it, Caesar sees Mark Antony as he has not seen him before. He has been a wary man, quick to love but quicker to hedge his bets. His relationship with Antony has always been one of brotherly love, almost as a father to a son, but not quite. Despite that, he has seen into Antony's character and divined that he can be swayed, and that he is not as immune to outside influence as he would have the world believe. So Caesar has always taken precautions with him. He has trusted him with his life, but not his politics. He has pushed him away when he felt it was necessary, and he has kept him by his side when he wanted companionship and to keep him under a watchful eye.

Still, in the last moments that he draws breath, Caesar sees the fierce love that Antony has had for him, just under the surface of his smiling irony. He feels the weight of it on his shoulders, a new sensation – love has never been a burden before, just a pleasant feeling. He wonders now if he was mistaken in his interpretation of love. If love, in fact, has been misrepresenting itself as loyalty to him.

Caesar also sees Brutus. He sees him kneeling before him, but also in his mind's eye. Brutus as a young child is the sight that presents itself most readily in a brain that is being rapidly deprived of oxygen. It is hard to differentiate between that image of him and the man in the flesh before him, kneeling with a knife in his hand, terror on his face. Caesar recognizes that look – he has seen it before, when Brutus accidentally shot a bird with his bow and arrow, and crouched over it, his arms wrapped around himself in shock. Taking the life of the bird took so much out of him that Caesar cannot help but feel a sharp pang of pity for the deed he is about to commit. He opens his mouth to tell Brutus that he forgives him, but his lungs have stopped obeying him.

During a few, long seconds, Caesar sees Servilia, bright and soft as silk against him. He has never been able to define what it is that attracts him to her so readily, but the memory of her delicate eyes and longing embrace is almost tangible as he feels the pull to the afterlife begin. He realizes he has never properly mourned for what was lost with her, and now he wishes he had taken the time to do so. But now, just at this moment, he focuses again on Brutus and allows the second to pass by, so that Brutus can thrust the knife into him. Caesar feels it as a far-away pain, so shocking and terrible, but at a distance from the rest of him. For now, he tries to convey the inexplicable truth that has come to him in the minute before his death, as he searches Brutus's face for some way to tell him. Then the world is shaking and he cannot see Brutus anymore.

One of the last fleeting things that rush through his mind is that if he does not cover himself, the love he mistook for loyalty might bring tears to Antony's eyes, and that would not do. He must be a leader for the people now, and be strong. He grips the cloth between his fingers as tight as he can and pulls it up as far as it will go before his arm disobeys him and drops to the ground.

He is warm now, and although he knows that he is almost gone, he feels a great desire to do things, things that he would not have thought of before the world and the people in it were made so clear to him. In his last conscious thought, Caesar hopes that the men around him will care for the people, misguided as they are. Then, suddenly, he can feel the coolness of the floor all over his body and he disappears.


End file.
